Contemplating

Recently, I've been asked a few times what I think I'll do jobwise once my children go to school. It's been a bit of a shock because I've been putting those thoughts to the back of my mind for so long as the thought scares me.

Not because I don't want to go back to work but because I have no idea what I'll be doing. And it is the realisation that I'll unlikely be important in a job again, which if I want to commit to my children and family is true.

I'm going to have to think about something that will fit round my lifestyle but will that fulfil my dreams and ambitions? I have a constant conflict in my mind. What are us mums supposed to do?

My mum was a stay at home mum ever since my sister was born when I was 7. Luke asked me what I remember most about her being at home. I answered that I loved whenever I was poorly she could pick me up from school immediately, take me home and care for me. I loved how a home cooked meal was always ready whenever I got in or that the house was always clean and tidy and my clothes were always ready when I needed them. These were little things that I know my best friend who had a single working mum never had.

I had always panicked that Ben would grow up to think I never did anything if I were to stay at home or work part time but Luke reassured me that this wouldn't be the case.

I know some women have no choice to go back to work and I know that we could have had more money if I worked full time instead of part time. I just feel that its been our choice to have children (maybe not choice the first time!!!) but it happened and I want to do everything possible to ensure Ben and bump have a secure, loving upbringing even if it means sacrificing extra money.

I still believe traditional ways are the best but unfortunately the government doesn't think so as they make it virtually impossible for mums to stay at home with their children.

We'll just have to see where we are at the time the decision needs to be made. In a few years we might be more financially stable, cars paid off and savings built up. Who knows where the future will take us.

Linds x